"When I saw you at your open casket
I touched your chest
and was really surprised at how cold it was
It seemed so unnatural
I was one of your pallbearers
we carried your casket, and the sun made it warm
the casket had the warmth that your body no longer had
I thought, this warmth is how I want to remember my buddy
my buddy who I'm always gonna miss
when Alex told me on the phone, I couldn't cry
but later, I could laugh at all the childish ways, of you
its a year later now, and I can't believe that 13 years of you
is all I'm gonna get, of my friend."
---
March comes around and I'm feeling sad from being lonely and feeling so bad that I wanna take those ugly feelings and shove them down my throat, but i couldn't do it.
I was afraid.
a few months pass and I'm feeling better, playing some games with my new friends, and I get a call from my best friend, he's feeling nervous and feeling sad, and I, I ask him why.
He says he's got something to say, and asks me if I got a minute, and so I step outside the room, and then I ask what's the news, and slowly
he says, that California killed a good friend.
We all put on our different ties, and hid away our different lies
and we all gathered into the church to honor someone that was hurt
and people were feeling so guilty, I know I was feeling shitty.
they gave us white gloves for our dear friend, to carry his grey box to his final bed.
and there he was, right next to a marked up tree.
and I went home, thinking that California killed my good friend.
two months will turn to two years and eventually more.
and one more good friend passes away.
and I know that everyone will go away, eventually.
but for that small amount of time
I thought things would stay the same
and that's what really hurts
and that's what really killed him.
---
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